Should I date someone who has kids from a previous marriage?
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Dating someone with kids can be challenging. In the beginning the boyfriend/girlfriend will not want to introduce you to the kids. The reason is that depending on how old their kids are and how long they have been divorced it may be a lot for the children to see their mom or dad with someone else. So don’t be offended when they don’t want to introduce you right away. You also have to be prepared to take the relationship slow in the beginning because you may be the first person that person has dated since they got divorced.
A parent will not want to introduce you until maybe 6 months or so into the relationship. Now, if you are in it for the long haul you will get to meet the children. You have to be careful, the first thing people who are dating people with children do is they bring gifts. The kids love this but you don’t want to buy them off or bribe them to like you. Introduce your self and ask them their names and how old they are. Suggest to your partner that you all go out to eat and get to know them a bit better. Talk to them about what they like and what they don’t, do they play video games? Try to engage them in an activity that they like. Make it about them.
Answer any questions that they may have. Be honest and be careful what to you say you have to keep in mind that they are children. As time goes by the kids will become more comfortable for you and for them. Don’t rush the relationship and when you are ready to take the relationship to the next level then discuss the next move with your partner. You want the kids to see you as a friend not as a father figure or a mother figure, they already have one of those. Never discipline your partners children, they are not your kids and you are not their parent. Leave that up to the parents. You want to be their friend nothing more.
You want to maintain a very pleasant atmosphere, you never want to get to the point where the kids don’t want to see you because they “ hate “ you. Leave the parenting to the parents and don’t let them walk all over you either. They may target you as an easy mark. Don’t shower them with gifts, don’t buy them something when their parent says no. Know your boundaries. Should you date someone with children from a previous marriage? That is your call, if you can handle it and realize that it will not always be easy and it won’t always be fun. But if truly care about your partner then you can take on the challenge. What makes them happy is going to be seeing their kids happy.